I’m just back from a week spent with family in Northern California. It was good to be with grandparents, to slow our pace to that of Scrabble games and scattered Legos on the carpet. As is our custom, we went for walks every day, including a few hikes in the nearby hills. I am always nourished by time in that place, and I usually call to mind the words of the great Zen poet Gary Snyder, who walked many a Bay Area trail. Snyder’s poem, “For All,” was written with the Rockies in mind, but the joy it describes is akin to my own when I’m out of doors:
Rustle and shimmer of icy creek waters /stones turn underfoot, small and hard as toes / cold nose dripping / singing inside / creek music, heart music / smell of sun on gravel. / I pledge allegiance.
Near the end of the week, I realized that I hadn’t seen a television once. I had also left my computer at home; my smartphone lay unchecked most of every day. Now I’m no Luddite (Luddites don’t blog), but what struck me was how distracted my mind can become following its usual routines. Daily I move from one device to the next, answering texts and e-mails, planning meetings and updating calendars, even sending sweet photos to friends and grandparents. The technology connects me to others and makes my life more efficient. But that’s not all it does.
I have felt more and more over the past few years the need to provide a balance to technology’s pace. So I return to the quiet walk and the silent prayer, times spent allowing my mind to disconnect from the dozens of rapid-fire communiques and reconnect with the world of ordinary objects and experiences. I center myself in the words on the page of a gospel, turning them over in my mind as one would hold a koan. I direct my attention to the subtle change in the season, noticing each day’s slight lengthening after solstice. I listen to the sounds of crushed leaves underfoot as I walk outside to pick up the paper, pausing to look up at the doves alighting on a bare branch. Later in the day, I am back in the game, computing as always. But I most often balance this with some slowness in the morning or evening (or both).
The last morning of our trip I read Pico Iyer’s beautiful Op-Ed, “The Joy of Quiet,” in the New York Times. He wrote of the need to temporarily disconnect from certain technologies in order to reconnect with a deeper reality. In Iyer’s words, “Nothing makes me feel better – calmer, clearer, and happier – than being in one place, absorbed in a book, a conversation, a piece of music. It’s actually something deeper than mere happiness: it’s joy, which the monk David Steindl-Rast describes as ‘that kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.’”
This year I’m wondering about how best to strike a balance between the whirlwind world of the virtual and the quieter, contemplative, joyful world that can only be found by those who will find the time to unplug themselves. I pledge allegiance with the poet to the smell of trees, the sound of gravel, and the feel of warm sunlight falling across the trail.
My simple question this week: What have you found helpful in your own search for balance? (I’ll be online just enough to read your answers.)
With aloha,
J


6 comments
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January 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Chase
Jeremy,
I’d love to say that I have good examples of disconnecting, but I don’t have any. At this time of year when all the resolutions are flying around and I feel guilty for all I should do but never make time to do for a healthy spiritual life, I confess here on your blog that I’m not sure how to disconnect from my daily media saturation which is highly dependent upon technology. My Iphone truly is another appendage of my physical self! As you prepare for your Sunday message, perhaps you could consider folks like me–who unlike you seem to be able to do naturally–find it nearly impossible to slow down, breath easy, reflect and disconnect.
Chase
January 5, 2012 at 5:34 am
Barbara
Jeremy,
Mahalo for not giving up on those of us who haven’t participated regularly on this blog. I don’t have any poetic reflections or words of wisdom, but I do want to relate a short story from my day. Having just voluntarily taken the plunge to Office 10 at work, with one errant click of the mouse, I lost about 250 emails into my already full “deleted” folder. At first, I was mortified that my inbox had only 5 remaining emails in it. Then after contacting the help desk about it, I started realizing how free I was as a result of an almost empty inbox! Though I started going through my deleted folder to see what “important” emails I should move back, I decided to close out of that folder and move on without all that email baggage! Admittedly, I’m not ready to do the same thing with my personal email account, but it sure lightened my techno load at work. This gives me more time to focus on the staff and kids, which is really why I’m there.
It’s only one click of the mouse…if you dare…!
Aloha,
Barbara
January 5, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Link
It certainly wasn’t by design that our new family dog affected my time in front of the computer but that has certainly been the case. A puppy needs to go out OFTEN, so I’m now frequently interrupted at the computer by a whining basset hound, requesting a trip outside. Not only has this taken me out of my extended sessions of “screen time” but it’s also put me outside more often, just looking around. These “doggie breaks” have provided short interludes in my day and night to take in the weather, the trees, and the sky. I’ve started noticing the locations of the constellations and the cycles of the moon for really the first time in my life. Like I say, it wasn’t planned this way but it’s been a nice side effect.
January 5, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Barbara Pescan
“It is only by having some distance from the world that you can see it whole, and understand what you should be doing with it.” [Pico Iyer, NYT, 12-29-11]
Having retired June 30 I have “some distance from the world” I had gotten used to at church, at home preparing for a move to another state, preparing to off-load our condo at a huge loss — my last months in Chicago were full of new details, incomplete good byes, stress. Only now – about 6 months since the move – are other things emerging in my mind-body-heart.
Long postponed grieving two deaths in my family in the last three years, and grieving the end of my years as a minister in a way that feels inelegant, fraught with regret and with forgetting all the good I was part of — my own “search for balance” now means staying with it…not getting lost in a bog of recrimination and regret, just letting the sadness surface, not ‘using’ any of it as stepping stones to move beyond, but simply remembering to acknowledge and stay present to the sadness.
I watch too much crap on tv, do the NYT and LAT crossword puzzles each morning, and keep checking off the accomplished tasks on the days’ to-do lists. I am still emptying boxes, re-boxing some 25+ years of sermons and other writing that I can’t quite bring myself to throw out yet, or even sort somehow.
I find going slowly through this time to be its own balancing movement. The rheumatoid arthritis/fibromyalgia of my body helps keep me slow; the pains of my body I read as metaphor for the surfacing grief. Sometimes it feels like I am coming apart at the seams – shoulders, hips and knees. And, strangely, that is okay. I read these messages and take it slow. Something more will emerge, I trust. Sometimes I laugh.
This is the first writing I have done in this, my new state, this new state-of-being. It feels and is incomplete, very much in process. I remind myself frequently to be tender with myself, to acknowledge the pangs, and to let my soft spot know what it knows.
That is all for now, and that seems enough.
Barbara P.
January 6, 2012 at 4:01 am
David
I sit here at my desk with two laptops, 1 for work and 1 for everything that doesn’t feel like work. Between the two laptops are two cell phones. 1 for work and 1 for everything that doesn’t feel like work. A very unbalanced amount of time is spent at this desk. To my left happens to be the armband and headphones that I put on when I escape away to go for a run. A run where I plug in the cell phone for everything that doesn’t feel like work and start listening to a podcast or music or something else that continues to keep me in many ways connected.
This has become my world of ordinary objects and experiences. I still enjoy mountain ranges and long for the sounds of open water, but that feels like the extraordinary now.
“Flow” has become my quieter, contemplative, joyful world. And it is rare.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)
Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.[1]
According to Csíkszentmihályi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task[2] although flow is also described (below) as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.
There are the non-technology driven moments. Dinner with my wife. Playing with blocks with my daughter. Sitting in a pew listening to the choir. I truly treasure those moments and they are part of the balance equation as well.
Maybe what has really changed is the calculation of the balance equation.
What used to be
inside + outside = my day
or
work + fun = my day
or
connected + disconnected = my day
has become
satisfying connected + unsatisfying connected + satisfying disconnected + unsatisfying disconnected = my day
January 7, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Raymond
Recently I have thinking about the relationship between perspective and connection. Despite monotony and routine, I find that my ability to extract meaning and connection in any situation is enhanced by a sense of perspective. Gaining and attempting to sustain perspective is, for me, a spiritual discipline- one which I know I will never master but is worth the pursuit. There are times/seasons, however, that require a physical removal from the ordinary (at least for me).